To celebrate the arbitrary...
The clock ticked by and then it was midnight on November 9, 2016. In a way I feel like I'm newborn yet again. Death certainly has some finality to it but the truth is there is many smaller deaths you go through in your life. Because death is merely a convention attempting to identify some change. And we go though many such changes. We die and are reborn. It's like reincarnation without the mystical overtones.
This is the first arbitrary period of time without my dad. And he is one my mind in a big way. I'm going through old photos, found some audio and short movie clips where I hear him talk. You know, those things you prize because they all you have due to taking things for granted way more than you should have in hindsight. He's a part of me, and he's not here to celebrate that part. And it's very noticeable even moments within the really meaningless change from one day to the next because we measured the oscillation of an atom yet again.
I defy myself, however, and I end with hope. Hope because there is my son. And now, since last year, my three daughters and my wife. Because there is still the rest of my family and my friends. There is still my life to embrace and wring the life out of for as long as I can. To burn bright in the darkness of space and enjoy this evolved treasure trove of conscious experience that I have while I am still a running event. My gratitude for what was and who that was. My gratitude for what is and who still is. These things I have this arbitrary day.
This is the first arbitrary period of time without my dad. And he is one my mind in a big way. I'm going through old photos, found some audio and short movie clips where I hear him talk. You know, those things you prize because they all you have due to taking things for granted way more than you should have in hindsight. He's a part of me, and he's not here to celebrate that part. And it's very noticeable even moments within the really meaningless change from one day to the next because we measured the oscillation of an atom yet again.
I defy myself, however, and I end with hope. Hope because there is my son. And now, since last year, my three daughters and my wife. Because there is still the rest of my family and my friends. There is still my life to embrace and wring the life out of for as long as I can. To burn bright in the darkness of space and enjoy this evolved treasure trove of conscious experience that I have while I am still a running event. My gratitude for what was and who that was. My gratitude for what is and who still is. These things I have this arbitrary day.