Letting go to take hold

I think I'm finally ready to let go of her... I've said that to myself so many times this past year, I think even for short periods of time I have been successful. But for some reason I keep going back to that place were I am holding onto the idea of her again. All it does it get me sad and then angry all over again. It's maddening. I'm tired of it.

I've started making symbolic gestures of removing her influence from my life. Like throwing away a bunch of writings I had about her, made over the past year. I don't need them anymore, they served their purpose. They helped me deal with the loss and come to terms with it. Time to let them go, just like it's far past time to let her go...

Onto other things Halloween will be here soon which means the big dilemma for me of whether or not I should dress up. I want to but then I'm so introverted/shy that I don't want to bring undue attention to myself. Who knows maybe I will be bold enough his year to do it...