Reflections of 2014
As I reread older posts and compare them to the events of this year I am compelled to tap out this post. Last year was definitely about my past; Letting it die, letting it go, et cetera et cetera. Following that theme this year was about my present state. Who and what I am becoming.
Getting over my ex last year let me become friends with her again. Which is exactly what we needed to do for our son. He is excelling at life this year and it is part in thanks to his mom and dad not becoming stupid feuding ex lovers.
I have embraced single-hood as my natural state. It works for me being one who favors being more internally motivated and all. Of course my heart still pines away at times for the sweet otherness found in a relationship. But I keep reminding myself that I am were I want to be and being with someone else would change that. I'm not interested in that change right now. That said is the next love of my life happened to appear as if by magic somehow I wouldn't run away from her. I don't bet on that though as I am much more realistic about relarionships now and I know that it will be easy for me to stay single by simply not trying.
My work is as interesting as ever, my personal projects are as well. Though with the side projects I find that I side track myself with spurts of game playing. Games are interesting puzzles and fun stories for me, that is what I gain the most from them. I'm even writing one, again, as one of my side projects. My other main project is a exploration into the world of Bluetooth communication, specifically via existing APIs. Meaning I'm not really doing anything fancy or groundbreaking.
Overall I'd say I was a hedonist this year. I enjoyed my life and it's many perks, spending time with my son being the event above all others. I savor that warm joy of being a dad. I also wear a shell now that no one penetrates. Outside I am stoic and without much expression but inside I feel everything and express everything to my imaginary simulacra of others.
And what is to come for my next year? I have no idea, I still can't seem to plan past a month or two in the future. I guess I will still just have to see when I get there.
Getting over my ex last year let me become friends with her again. Which is exactly what we needed to do for our son. He is excelling at life this year and it is part in thanks to his mom and dad not becoming stupid feuding ex lovers.
I have embraced single-hood as my natural state. It works for me being one who favors being more internally motivated and all. Of course my heart still pines away at times for the sweet otherness found in a relationship. But I keep reminding myself that I am were I want to be and being with someone else would change that. I'm not interested in that change right now. That said is the next love of my life happened to appear as if by magic somehow I wouldn't run away from her. I don't bet on that though as I am much more realistic about relarionships now and I know that it will be easy for me to stay single by simply not trying.
My work is as interesting as ever, my personal projects are as well. Though with the side projects I find that I side track myself with spurts of game playing. Games are interesting puzzles and fun stories for me, that is what I gain the most from them. I'm even writing one, again, as one of my side projects. My other main project is a exploration into the world of Bluetooth communication, specifically via existing APIs. Meaning I'm not really doing anything fancy or groundbreaking.
Overall I'd say I was a hedonist this year. I enjoyed my life and it's many perks, spending time with my son being the event above all others. I savor that warm joy of being a dad. I also wear a shell now that no one penetrates. Outside I am stoic and without much expression but inside I feel everything and express everything to my imaginary simulacra of others.
And what is to come for my next year? I have no idea, I still can't seem to plan past a month or two in the future. I guess I will still just have to see when I get there.
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