The illuminated and the shaded

My son learned to ride a bike without training wheels today. Admits on this anguish is this pure moment of joy. It was a triumph for him. I am so proud of you son. Any dad who has experienced this can attest to how amazing this seemingly small even is for us. I had to stand there and think to myself amidst this joy, "And we are losing our family...". Such a horrid thought to worm it's way in to my mind. It could not damper the power of the moment though. I was so happy I shared it with the woman that threw me away. This was beyond my hurt and sorrow. Beyond my anger and confusion. As I said, it was a pure moment. I am so grateful to you son to have been a part of this, to watch your success. I love you.

Later on while we were sitting together my son asked me how I met mommy. So I gave him a decent summary of the events 8 years ago to now. It hurt to think this is all coming to an end. That I am the one acting and my soon to be ex supports my every step. It hurts so bad that she doesn't want me anymore. Hold on to your love if you can make it work. As long as the both of you are willing to keep trying, even if it's the smallest of effort per day. Do it! Don't lose her or him. Don't leave her feeling so cold that she someday decides to throw your heart away for another man or visa versa. Don't risk it. Don't be like me. Life is too precious to experience alone, share it with someone and share in their life.