Mornings...

Sleep is nice. I haven't been getting much lately but I just got 7 hours and that is great. Impressive even, considering its only been a week since I found out about her infidelity. I don't like mornings still though. When I sleep I can almost forget all this in my dreams. Sometimes not, but many times it's almost as if this didn't happen and things still seem fine between my wife and I.

Then I wake up and I remember, thinking to myself, "Oh yeah, she slept with another man and gave him intimacy that you haven't had with her in years". I then spend the rest of the day trying to remove the shaky pressure in the pit of my stomach, that hurt/anxiety/paranoia/depression/anger/jealousy/desperation feeling I now carry every day. It isn't constant, there are some times that I am better than others.

Today we are visiting a counselor, I can't tell you how much I need this, I feel like I am drowning and this is a chance to come up for some air. I really hope she can help us, I really don't want to lose my wife. Mornings are rough.