Councel of the Damned

My last post talked about my hope and desperate need for the marriage coucelor. The events of last night and today have turned it all into numb despair. The entire time we were in that session Tanya repeated the same message in all that she said, "He hurt me four years ago and I will not forgive him". I saw the end of hope, it died in my heart leaving soot and ash in its wake. I confronted her after we got home. I tried desparately to win her heart, even if it was just the smallest of slivers possible. And I kept crashing into that wall of her's that she has erected against me, over and over. That is not love, not for me to need her out of desperation and not for her to close herself off from me.

In the end we are now taking a break. I am sitting in a hotel writing this. Away from the shell that was my wife. Away from my last vestige of sanity and love, my son. I am now one of the damned, a failure who could not bring light to his family. And my damned wife is the one who brought me here to wallow in hell with her because she would not forgive me. Instead she trampled over the heart of mine that I had given her by fucking another man after promising never to cheat again. I don't lament being here now, I only lament the fight I failed to win, the fight to save our relationship from itself.