Helping myself

I bought a book called "Getting Past Your Breakup" by Susan J. Elliott. I haven't made it far but I already see this will be helpful to my current situation. I feel like I do know how I need to heal but read her words and the comments she included in her book help me feel not as alone as I have. The grief and resulting pain is normal and necessary. The changes I have been making, there have been quite a few, are toward the good for me. I need to practice responding more than reacting and as I work through the loss that will get better.

Her no contact policy is good advice and I realize, because of my choice to continue to live with my soon to be ex, that I have prolonged the efforts I will need to take to recover from all this. I still think it was the best thing to do all around but I have to work much harder to keep out of her business and to keep her out of mine. Her recommendation to limit conversation to the topic of my son is a good one and I plan to follow it. I am doing ok today, had a bit of a breakdown yesterday though. One tough thing about all this is how the hurt will just sneak up on you. Triggered by some sensory input or even just a thought and then I have to struggle to let is go. To recognize it for what it is and accept myself and how I am feeling.

My councelor appointment is tomorrow, I am looking forward to it. Though I really do know what I am going to talk about. Last week I started to tell her about the letters to my wife as she was when she wasn't a cold hearted spoiled little girl and she mentioned reading them this session. I was happy o last week, now I'm not so sure. They seem slightly irrelevant now as I find myself losing my need to write them. I am tempted to start asking about some of the next phase in my healing instead, How do I never contribute to this happening again...