Sometimes friendships go bad.
On a sour note today I'm pretty much writing off two close friends of mine. It's sad because one was a twenty year friend and the other was just under that and I love them like brothers. Guess if I loved them I would persevere and try to mend and forgive, and who knows about what the future will hold? But... I told one to rot in hell today and the other to f' off so the future is probably a little bleak for mending huh?
I know it was way uncool of me to let my emotions go like that and all I can say is I was just plain raging at them. Both were business partners; One stole a client and some employees and the other, a couple months after that, decided he wasn't going to work anymore, go to college, and still collect what little income we were getting at that point. So this all has been going on a while now and I still have to be reminded of that every day because it's still not over. Company taxes are just the latest and greatest example of it and how I still have to deal with these friends and how I should be cooperative with them, and pay this bill or do that bit of work for one of them on their time-line all the while they go on with their lives. And they have the nerve to tell me things like they are doing me a favor or I should just be satisfied, put my head down and meet their demands because after all... it's just business.
It's all madness and confusion for me; And I have prayed and obsessed about it so much! I'd like to think I try to do what is right for it's own sake but I don't know what that is with these two. I feel betrayed by both in different ways and it hurts. I guess I'm a crybaby playing 'Sandbox Politics'. "You hurt me so I'm not your friend anymore, waaaaaa". That was my poor imitation of a 4 year old kid in a sandbox.
Ultimately I have heard a great piece of advice again and again; And I just need to listen to it and that is 'Let it go'. As you can see with this post I'm not doing a pretty good job of that yet....
I know it was way uncool of me to let my emotions go like that and all I can say is I was just plain raging at them. Both were business partners; One stole a client and some employees and the other, a couple months after that, decided he wasn't going to work anymore, go to college, and still collect what little income we were getting at that point. So this all has been going on a while now and I still have to be reminded of that every day because it's still not over. Company taxes are just the latest and greatest example of it and how I still have to deal with these friends and how I should be cooperative with them, and pay this bill or do that bit of work for one of them on their time-line all the while they go on with their lives. And they have the nerve to tell me things like they are doing me a favor or I should just be satisfied, put my head down and meet their demands because after all... it's just business.
It's all madness and confusion for me; And I have prayed and obsessed about it so much! I'd like to think I try to do what is right for it's own sake but I don't know what that is with these two. I feel betrayed by both in different ways and it hurts. I guess I'm a crybaby playing 'Sandbox Politics'. "You hurt me so I'm not your friend anymore, waaaaaa". That was my poor imitation of a 4 year old kid in a sandbox.
Ultimately I have heard a great piece of advice again and again; And I just need to listen to it and that is 'Let it go'. As you can see with this post I'm not doing a pretty good job of that yet....
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