Silence

It odd that with a world so loud that silence seems to be the answer in the end for me. I remember for a good amount of time I was active in community. I discussed and argued. I shared my ideas and creations. I tried to act wise and smart. In the end the wisest and smartest thing I have yet to do in any situation ultimately is be silent. I never ran the risk of acting selfish or foolish when I keep silent. I don't harm others, I don't fail others with my unwise and broken promises. You could make the argument that if I don't open my mouth, or connect with others that I also do not benefit them. But I think my best benefit to them is silence. Even here you don't know who I am. And I guess that is why I started this blog, to be silent and yet express myself. I am still selfish and foolish but at least I don't have to affect you personally unless you choose to react that way to my words. You can go away from this site saying 'Blimey, he is a real nutter that one!' and I lost you nothing. I didn't break promises. I don't know what you are talking about that could lead to by deviled tongue to let slip harmful responses. It's a good arrangement that we have. Or at least that is the way I have convinced myself about it all. I'm not depressed or nothing. Probably a little lacking in self esteem but I live like you do. Moment to moment. This post wsa going to be an outreach to you. To tell you I love you and that I wish you to have peace and joy in your life. I do love you and hope those things for you. I just spent the last hour erasing that rewriting the sentiment numerous times until I almost didn't post. Why? Silence seemed the best answer again in the end. But now you know. You know what I don't do more often then not and that despite that I really do care. I just don't know how to really say it without dragging myself into it. But I want peace for you despite my self. The love I want to share, that feeling of true connection with each other, I want you to benefit from in spite of myself. Because maybe then I can truly know that I am not being selfish. Being selfish is my biggest weakness. Even now, I'm talking about myself when this is supposed to be about you. It's like this fool-proof trap and I'm the fool.

Despite my self-absorbed rambling, I really do hope your life is good. And I have some advice for you. It's not that you don't already know this because I sure you do but it kind goes with my thoughts for this post so...

Seek after all that is of good report and share and do good until each other as much as possible. Therein lies the path and key to the doorway into heaven. But always remember heaven isn't just a destination, it's a journey.