Pride and the Labrynth

I take pride in the work that I do. I enjoy my work, I enjoy my coworkers, I even most of the time enjoy my clients. I like being as perfect as I can at my work and I hate when something happens that I feel is my fault or that I could have prevented. Sure it all could be accidental, I think most failures usually are. I mentally kick myself greatly whenever I am at the heart of failure. I fear I seek failure because of the benefits, I gain wisdom and experience from my failures. I feel more alive when the situation is grim. I fear that I will live a life of failure because of that. I seek failure to overcome it for certain, not to perpetuate it or revel in it. Failure is my arch-nemesis and yet I will not ultimately defeat it because I need it to define me as it's opposite.